POEM

STILL ILL RISE

You may write me down in history 
With your bitter, twisted lies, 
You may tread me in the very dirt 
But still, like dust, I'll rise. 

Does my sassiness upset you? 
Why are you beset with gloom? 
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells 
Pumping in my living room. 

Just like moons and like suns, 
With the certainty of tides, 
Just like hopes springing high, 
Still I'll rise. 

Did you want to see me broken? 
Bowed head and lowered eyes? 
Shoulders falling down like teardrops. 
Weakened by my soulful cries. 

Does my haughtiness offend you? 
Don't you take it awful hard 
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines 
Diggin' in my own back yard. 

You may shoot me with your words, 
You may cut me with your eyes, 
You may kill me with your hatefulness, 
But still, like air, I'll rise. 

Does my sexiness upset you? 
Does it come as a surprise 
That I dance like I've got diamonds 
At the meeting of my thighs? 

Out of the huts of history's shame 
I rise 
Up from a past that's rooted in pain 
I rise 
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, 
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. 
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear 
I rise 
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear 
I rise 
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, 
I am the dream and the hope of the slave. 
I rise 
I rise 
I rise.

by Maya Angelou

THE PAIN OF SOCIAL REJECTION

Anyone who lived through  same hurt feelings bubble up when you are excluded from lunch with co-workers, fail to land the job you interviewed for or are dumped by a romantic partner.
Rejection feels lousy.
Yet for many years, few psychologists tuned into the importance of rejection. “It’s like the whole field missed this centrally important part of human life,” That’s changed over the last decade and a half, as a growing number of researchers have turned their eyes toward this uncomfortable fact of life. “People have realized just how much our concern with social acceptance spreads its fingers into almost everything we do,”

Clearly, there are good reasons to better understand the effects of being excluded. “Humans have a fundamental need to belong. Just as we have needs for food and water, we also have needs for positive and lasting relationships,”

 Although humans are social beings, some level of rejection is an inevitable part of life. Nevertheless, rejection can become a problem when it is prolonged or consistent, when the relationship is important, or when the individual is highly sensitive to rejection. Rejection by an entire group of people can have especially negative effects, particularly when it results in social isolation.

 

Need for acceptance

Rejection may be emotionally painful because of the social nature of human beings and the need of social interaction between other humans is essential. All humans, even introverts, need to be able to give and receive affection to be psychologically healthy.
Psychologists believe that simple contact or social interaction with others is not enough to fulfill this need. Instead, people have a strong motivational drive to form and maintain caring interpersonal relationships. People need both stable relationships and satisfying interactions with the people in those relationships. If either of these two ingredients is missing, people will begin to feel lonely and unhappy
 The main purpose of self-esteem is to monitor social relations and detect social rejection. In this view, self-esteem is a sociometer which activates negative emotions when signs of exclusion appear.
 

In childhood

Most children who are rejected by their peers display one or more of the following behavior patterns:

1. Low rates of prosaically behavior, e.g. taking turns, sharing.
2. High rates of aggressive or disruptive behavior.
3. High rates of inattentive, immature, or impulsive behavior.
4. High rates of social anxiety.

 Rejected children are likely to have lower self-esteem and to be at greater risk for internalizing problems like depression.Some rejected children display externalizing behavior and show aggression rather than depression. The research is largely correlational, but there is evidence of reciprocal effects. This means that children with problems are more likely to be rejected, and this rejection then leads to even greater problems for them. Chronic peer rejection may lead to a negative developmental cycle that worsens with time.

We will look at rejection in spiritual way and see how to handle it...in our next article...

Rachael Nyanchama is a stong woman, intelligent, beautiful, educated, charming  and all the best description goes to her, she is 27 years old, who was born in Kenya and bought up with two strong and loving parents,  who accepts herself, and believe in herself.

My main aim of creating this blog is to empower people who have loosen hope and meaning of themselves. we pass through many incidents in life to an extent of not knowing where we stand.
I bring this as a past life experience and as strength to many who are willing to go through my posts.

I will start on;

SELF ACCEPTANCE ;

This short article I would like to discuss how important self acceptance is and how you can improve your life by accepting who you are.

Why is self-acceptance so important?
It is so important because if you do not accept yourself for who you really are you will create a number of problems in your life. Some of these problems are internal, affecting you personally and some will affect how others treat you.
Let’s quickly look at some of these problems:

• Low self esteem – denying who you are or being blind to what you really want means you may suffer from low self esteem
• Living a lie – if you do not accept yourself you may push yourself to be what you are not and the result is a false life. If you feel that you are living a life which is not you perhaps you have this problem.
• Unhappiness – connected to the last two points because you will not be enjoying life as you are ignoring your inner voice and your heart
• Becoming a victim – if you do not accept yourself you may believe what others tell you and become a victim
• No trust in yourself – low self confidence can follow when you are unsure of who you are and what you want

What happens when you accept yourself for who you are?
Self-acceptance means that you understand who you are and where your strengths and weaknesses lie. You know what you want. This will allow you to be comfortable with your place in the world.
If you can build your self confidence you will live a life free of self criticism and you can begin to face the challenges in your life and succeed. Imagine being at ease with people, being able to speak in public and feel good about yourself, no more shyness or fear. Build your Self Confidence – quick, easy and guaranteed! (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation)
If you accept yourself you can also value yourself and tell others that they should respect who you are. You will also be able to accept others and not demand that they try to reach your standards.
Self acceptance means that you are happy with who and what you are but it does not mean that you give up any hopes of change or improvement. Self acceptance is a necessary first step towards self improvement because you need to see the truth about yourself and accept it and then decide whether or not you can change.
What steps can you take to increase your self acceptance?

• Take time to think about who you are – your personality, your background, what makes you tick
• Understand that there are both positive and negative aspects of who you are and you should accept these as part of who you are
• Are there things about yourself which you don’t like? Ok, maybe you can improve but first acknowledge them and accept them
• Are you trying to be something you’re not? Why? Wouldn’t it be better to be you?
• Visit this page about self acceptance and get the download – it’ll help you enormously
• Buy a book and confront the problem:

 

I accept myself I believe in myself do you ?

 

Many at times we take in what we are told not forgetting that we are the once who understand ourselves more  than anybody who knows us. Let someone stand tall and say,

"I AM WHAT I BELEIVE I AM." 

 

Let someone say " I care for myself. The more solitary , the more friendless, the more unstained I am the more I will respect myself" 

 

 

Let someone know "what the mind can conceive and believe, and the heart desire, you can achieve"

 

BY; Rachael Nyanchama